Nobody Knows
by silver9tails
Summary: Lily has always acted strong, but what happens when the mask breaks? I stink at summaries. Please just read it and maybe review. JxL songfic


Disclaimer: Of course I don't own anything. If I did would I be writing them here? The song is Nobody Knows by P!nk. I didn't go over it too well, so I am sorry for any typos. This was my first one-shot, but flamers and constructive criticism are welcomed. Please enjoy and if possible review!

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Lily ran. She ran and ran until her legs would carry her no farther. Tears were also running, however they were going down her face rather than down the yard in front of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She ran to the hidden cove that she had found near the lake. No one knew of this place and she could come here to let out the pain of the week. In between her sobs she started to sing a small song softly that touched her soul and helped to heal her wounds.

_Nobody knows, Nobody knows but me that I sometimes cry._

_If I could pretend that I'm asleep when my tears start to fall_

Before she had tried to lock herself in the dorm room when Malfoy and Snape constantly insulted her. She put on a strong face when they were right there in her face, but behind her facade, the insults hurt all the same. They would often cause her to go to her room and cry her heart out. But then the girls that also roomed with her would come in. Fearing that they would see her as weak, she kept the tears to herself and pretended to be asleep instead.

_And I peek out from behind these walls_

_I think nobody knows_

_Nobody knows, no_

Lily then had made walls around her heart and emotions so that she wouldn't be hurt so badly the next time someone insulted her. However, even the strongest walls have their price. The wounds still hurt even if she didn't show it. She was always on guard and afraid that someone might get through to her. Unconsciously, she pulled away from her friends and essentially the world so that no one could hurt her because no one truly knew her. The only time she would peek through her wall was when she was at the cove where she was now when no one was around.

_Nobody likes, nobody likes to lose that inner voice_

_The one I use to hear before my life made a choice_

_But I think nobody knows, nobody knows_

Lily herself recognized the changes in herself and hated herself for them. She use to be a lively and loving girl before she chose to put up her defenses. Now when she walked around the school without spirit. Every smile she gave to her peers was a hollow one, but no one she met could even tell the difference. If they could tell the difference they just didn't care enough to make the fake smile into a genuine one.

_Baby oh this secrets safe with me_

_There's nowhere else in the world that I could ever be_

But, as much as she wanted to, she wouldn't tell anyone that she felt the way she did. Lily sat down at the edge of the water and looked out across the lake at the castle. It held so many memories even if she only came here during the school year. It was her home. She didn't have a family to go back to once the school year ended because Petunia didn't accept her and her parents were killed when she little. Hogwarts was really the only place for her.

_And baby don't it feel like I'm all alone_

_Who's gonna be there after the last angel has flown_

_And I've lost my way back home_

_I think nobody knows no_

She was all alone in the world. Lily looked up at the stars in the night sky. They were all that she had left. The stars were like her own personal angels. One little light in the dark sea was enough to make her hope for the future. Lily's voice got steadier as the tears stopped rolling down her face. Even if she was all alone and no one knew she existed right now, the future could always be better.

_Nobody knows_

_Nobody cares, it's win or lose, not how you play the game_

Lily thought that was an ironic statement to begin with. Life wasn't a game, so there weren't any winners just a multitude of players. Yet no one cared what you did with your life. She could probably disappear right now and the only people who would even know that she was gone were the teachers. It seemed that no matter which way she turned, she was always losing.

_And the road to darkness has a way of always knowing my name_

_I think nobody knows_

_Nobody knows_

_No, no, no, no_

For some reason Voldemort kept coming after her and anyone close to her. His death eaters killed her biological parents. Plus, every time she changed her name and moved to a different foster home they still found her. Her summers were filled with constant moving to new locations so that she wouldn't cause anyone to get hurt because of her. Hogwarts was the only safe place where she could use her actual name and stay put for awhile.

_Baby oh this secret's safe with me _

_There's nowhere else in the world that I could ever be_

_And baby don't it feel like I'm all alone_

_Who's gonna be there after the last angel has flown_

_And I've lost my way back home_

_And I know nobody knows no_

_No no no no no no no_

James sat hidden behind some trees close to the cove where Lily sat. He saw her running away from the school and decided to follow so that she didn't do anything drastic. He had never seen Lily look so broken. He noticed that the light had gone out of Lily's eyes when she walked around the halls and any time she laughed it seemed forced. Hearing the pain in her voice as she sang broke James's heart. He wanted to do anything to make her truly laugh and smile with him.

_Tomorrow I'll be there my friend_

_I'll wake up and start all over again_

_When everybody else is gone_

_No, no, no_

Lily stood back up still facing the lake. She wouldn't runaway from her problems there. It was her only home. Even if she was faced with the same issues as the day before, Lily was going to change. She was going to be more open and live her life. Her voice had been growing in strength, but now it dropped back to its previous sorrowful tone.

_Nobody knows, nobody knows the rhythm of my heart_

_The way I do when I'm lying in the dark_

_And the world is_ _asleep_

She sighed and tears began to flow from her eyes again. No one knew her, so how could anyone love her. She would never have a family of her own with a loving husband and kids. Lily felt that her personality was too cold and she was not pretty enough. She was working against herself. She wanted the world but was afraid of it at the same time.

_And I think nobody know_

_Nobody knows_

_Nobody knows but me_

_Me_

Lily was fully crying again. The prospect of no one being able to love her was tearing her apart inside. Suddenly, she felt two strong arms wrap around her torso. Still crying she turned around quickly and threw her arms around the neck of the familiar figure. She buried her head into the chest of this boy, no now man. He leaned over still holding her close to him so his head was in her hair right next to her ear.

Quietly he whispered to her, ‟Oh Lily. Someone does know. Don't you ever forget that I love you and always will."

Lily looked up glassy-eyed, but no more tears fell. She then leaned back into his chest. A few muffled words reached the young man's ears before they continued to embrace through the night. ‟Thank you, James."


End file.
